Rich Bitch

Because budgeting sucks... but so does being broke.

I lay out a 12-Step Plan in which I share my experiences—mistakes and all—of getting my own finances in order. Money is typically an “off limits” conversation, but nothing is off limits here.

Do your eyes glaze over just thinking about the mumbo-jumbo language of finance?

Do you break out into hives when faced with getting your financial life together?

Well, sister, you are not alone.

I wrote Rich Bitch because it’s the finance book I always wanted but could never find. Everything I read to try and learn the language of money was written in a confusing way, full of jargon. I found myself needing the definition for the definition! I knew there had to be a better way to have a conversation about the most important topic of our lives, that touches every single part of it. That’s why I disrupted the personal finance section of the book store by talking to you as a friend (who swears a lot, because I do) rather than a lecturer.

I created a simple 12-step plan to get your financial life together because I believe you can tackle overwhelming topics (like this one!) only by breaking it down into smaller, more digestible chunks. Along the way I share my own experiences—mistakes and all—so you can laugh at me, laugh with me…I don’t care, as long as you are smiling when you think about finances. Money is often an upsetting, anxiety-provoking, “off-limits” conversation…but nothing is off limits with me!

I really wanted to rethink every piece of financial “wisdom” you’ve ever heard. Sure, there are some hard-and-fast rules about finance, but when it comes to your money, the only person who can tell you how to spend it is you. Should you buy a house? Maybe not. Should you splurge on that morning latte? Likely yes.
Instead of focusing on nickel-and-diming yourself, I believe in investing in yourself so you don’t have to stress over the little things. But, in order to do that you have to be able to speak the language of money. After all, money is a language like anything else, and the sooner you can join the conversation, the sooner you can live the life you want.

I hope Rich Bitch rehabs whatever bad money habits you might have and provides you with a plan that you can not only sustain, but also thrive on. You won’t feel deprived but rather inspired to go after the rich life you deserve, and confident enough to call yourself a Rich Bitch, a women who has control of her life in all ways and lives it on her terms.

There are six bitches who are always broke.

1

Bitches who don't have a spending plan

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: write it down. Having a mental Spending Plan is about as good as having no plan at all. Jot down every single little thing you spend your money on so you can really get a feel for the bigger picture.

2

Bitches who don't have a savings (in the, ahem, bank)

You might think you're making bank, but if you regularly blow your entire paycheck and have no savings to back it up, guess what? You're back to zero. Reframe the way you think about savings as being part of your spending plan. Yes, savings is really just spending on your own future well-being.

3

Bitches who don't pay on time

Making late payments isn't just idiotic for the way it impacts your credit score; it also comes with a price tag. Whether it's your credit card bill, phone bill, utilities, rent — you name it — there is almost always an additional fee for late payment. Smart bitches know that being late to the bill-paying party is never fashionable.

4

Bitches who lack ambition

Start freeing yourself from the anxiety of saving so much by...making more. Yes, I know, that's easier said than done, but if you start coming from a place of aspiration instead of desperation, you will change the way you look at your money. Think of making more, not spending less, as your best weapon against going broke.

5

Bitches who are unhappy

Women joke all the time about retail therapy, but it's really just a euphemism for overspending. Bitches who are unsatisfied with their careers are more likely to impulse spend to try to fix it, which — of course — only leads to more unhappiness once those bills add up. Find therapy in something else you love to do and focus your leisure time on that.

6

Bitches who care too much

This is a tricky one. You know how I feel about charity work, and I want nothing more than for my bitches to be compassionate members of society. But this becomes a problem when you put others' needs before your own. The brutal reality is that you need to help yourself financially before you can help others. So instead of dumping a disproportionate amount of your paycheck into your favorite charity, volunteer your time and energy. Spending the day cleaning up a community garden or volunteering at your local animal shelter makes you feel good, has an impact on your community and costs zero dollars.