FBI Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on How to Get a Raise, a Better Job Offer, and Everything Else You Want

Chris Voss is a former FBI lead kidnapping negotiator, betselling author of Never Split The Difference, and founder and CEO of The Black Swan Group; a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations.
Recognized globally as a leading authority on negotiation, Chris developed his approach through decades of experience in crisis negotiation. Today, he and The Black Swan Group apply those principles to business, sales, leadership, difficult conversations, and high-stakes communication through The Black Swan Method® and Tactical Empathy®.
Never Split The Difference has introduced millions of readers around the world to Chris's negotiation methodology. Through The Black Swan Group, Chris and his team help people go beyond understanding the concepts in the book and develop negotiation as a practical, repeatable performance skill through training, coaching, practice, and live experiences.
The Black Swan Group offers in-person negotiation training, live and self-paced online negotiation training, coaching, keynote speaking, and advanced negotiation experiences for business owners, leaders, sales professionals, and other professionals who want to become more effective dealmakers.
Learn from Chris Voss and The Black Swan Group:
Negotiation training and resources: https://www.blackswanltd.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm=campaign=moneyrehabwithnicolelapin
In-person and live training: https://www.blackswanltd.com/live-events?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=moneyrehabwithnicolelapin
Online negotiation training: https://www.blackswanltd.com/online-negotiation-classes?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=moneyrehabwithnicolelapin

Chris reveals why finding “common ground” is actually a recipe for resentment, why throwing out a number first can kill a deal, and the three conflict types, fight, flight, and make friends, that explain how almost every deal goes sideways. 

Then Nicole and Chris get into why remote work might be quietly tanking your career, an analysis of President Trump’s negotiation style and The Art of the Deal, plus the two lines of code planted in your head before age five that drive everything you do with money, work, and relationships. Finally, because Nicole had to ask, Chris explains what you should say if you’re ever in a hostage situation.

Check out Nicole's financial literacy course The Money School

Find a Financial Advisor or Financial Coach from Nicole's company Private Wealth Collective

Watch video clips from the pod on Money Rehab's Instagram and Nicole Lapin's Instagram

Check out Nicole’s Favorite Chris Voss Book “Never Split the Difference”

Learn More About The Black Swan Method

Here's what Nicole covers with Chris: 

00:00 Are You Ready for Some Money Rehab? 

01:00 Why Splitting the Difference Builds Resentment

03:19 The Myth of “Common Ground”

06:57 Stories From Being the Lead Hostage Negotiator For the FBI 

07:51 How to Get Your Boss to Want to Pay You More 

16:00 The Mistake of Getting Too Personal

18:51 What Should You Say If You’re a Hostage?

19:19 In A Raise Negotiation, Should You Bring Up a Competing Offer?

22:19 Is Body Language Really Important?

27:12 Does Chris Voss Get Nervous While Negotiating?

28:36 Negotiation Role Play and the Script For Getting a Raise

30:31 Should You Throw Out a Number First?

32:25 Don’t Ask “How Can I Help?”

42:15 Negotiating Non-Monetary Perks (Remote Work, Vacation Time, and More)43:06 Chris’ Take on Remote Work: It Makes You a C-Player 

47:31 How to Use Empathy in a Negotiation 

48:00 Why Being Playful Makes You 31% Smarter 

50:20 The Three Conflict Types and Why Deals Die 

59:00 Analyzing Donald Trump’s Negotiation Style

01:08:51 Debunking Negotiation Myths

01:16:00 Rating Deal-Making Cliches 

01:18:13 How To Get Inside Someone’s Head

01:22:38 How Your Upbringing Influences Your Negotiation Skills

01:25:47 Chris Voss's Tip You Can Take Straight to the Bank